Author: Jamila

Hi reader, I hope you enjoy this first blog post that will be answering the age‑old question:

“What is even a shadow ”?

Hint: it is nothing to do with shading with pens or pencils, nor is it black magic. Though I must admit, I have this book called The Shadow Work Journal by Keila Shaheen, and when I whip it out at work, or in public, I always worry people will think I am some kind of Satan worshipper or that it’s my burn book of sigils and other witchy stuff. 

Not that there is anything wrong with witches, they are quite cool, and if you are into sigils, well, that is on you, this is not a place to judge. 

Now let’s cut to the chase – 

We all have a shadow. Literally. 

Psychologically too. 

I am concerned with the latter. 

So in simple terms, the shadow is essentially the aspects of personality, that for any number of reasons, we have swept under the carpet, or stuffed away in some wardrobe like a skeleton that we fear will end our sense of self and our place in our communities and wider society, if it was to be known. To make matters worse, the shadow is not just hidden away from others, it is often hidden away from the person themselves. 

Apologies if that sounded a bit too similar to the Dorian Corey story. 

The reasons why parts of ourselves become shadowed, is due to to either forgetting, suppressing, or being taught to not express; most of this typically happens when we have not yet formed our own worldviews, such as when we are children.

For example, being raised in a religion that tells you that something you genuinely like, i.e. tattoos, are forbidden, that if you are to get a tattoo, you will be ostracised from your community. Worse, you may face hell.

This is not to throw shade at religion, nor am I denying that you can genuinely go to hell because of a tattoo. No, because religion does serve a function and a purpose. As someone who once followed one, I know that it can be a great source of peace in an otherwise confusing world.

As in the case of organised religion, the skimming of aspects of ourselves is often essential. This is necessary for us to fit in and for communities to be forged. It’s almost like a sacrifice we must all make.

When this becomes a problem: 

In our biological and psychological need to be pack animals, we start judging those repressed parts of ourselves. We often demonise them.

There are essentially two obvious ways we do that:

1. We see qualities hidden in others that we secretly have, so we either judge them or overly celebrate those individuals. 
2. We judge or even punish ourselves for having certain likes, qualities etc. 

Now you don’t have to be a psychoanalyst to know that doing that, i.e. not living our truth, harms our ability to be integrated and whole. It also affects how good we feel about ourselves, others, the world, and our experience of life in general. This in turn, creates further suffering (I will explore suffering quite a bit in this blog, as I’ve been greatly influenced by Hindu and Buddhist philosophy). 

To make matters more complex, what is punished and rewarded in the context of shadow work, varies widely across families, communities, societies, organisations, religions…hell, even cults (this is an exciting topic to explore, so I will explore this in a separate post). This naturally tells us that what we suppress in one context, could have been accepted in another context. 

Another thought experiment: 

To carry on the tattoo example, lets say a child in London, grew up with parents who adorned their bodies with tattoos. The child, a Japanese native, gets tattoos as an adult, because well, they are socially acceptable in the UK and within their family. However, the child decides to move back to Japan as an adult. Now this would be challenging given that to this day, tattoos in Japan are still associated with the Yakuza, which is a notorious crime organisation from Japan. What does this mean for this person, it means that they have to cover their arms to enter certain businesses and even certain gyms might not accept them. What happens now? The individual now has to cover their arms, even in sweltering heat. This person might not even be able to be accepted in some social circles. Luckily, tattoos are now becoming normalised in Japanese culture, especially the younger generations. But imagine loving something that you now have to hide? You essentially suppress a life experience, and could end up going to the grave having lived someone else’s idea of what is acceptable and what is not. 

I would hate anyone to regret not having fully lived their lives, if and when they had the chance to. 

We all have shadows, but it’s especially those of us with negative childhood experiences

The above thought experiment is a random example, that I hope makes sense. It was the first example I could think of, ‘cause I too have tattoos, despite having suppressed this desire when I was in my early 20s (got my first tattoo as a literal “F U”, and it was not even that good, but it made a point). 

 The point is everyone has aspects that have been enhanced because they were rewarded, or hidden because they were shunned. This applies regardless of whether or not they have experienced trauma or bad childhood experiences. 

Taking back our autonomy

I personally think that shadow work is very much a tool for self-empowerment and freedom and we come to a point in our lives where we might start asking ourselves if the choices and decisions we have made are even our own or are they even aligned with our soul (if you are into esoteric topics).

I know, I know, I know, that you have probably thought about murderers and other types of people in our society, that get punished for their actions. Rightly so, I would say.

 Crime, I am not talking about petty crime or selling grass, needs to have consequences on the basis that it takes away from another and thus, impinges their freedom and right to live happy and safe (as much as possible).  

So what if you have been asked to suppress your destructive anger? Well, we’ll talk more about the darker shadowy aspects of the human condition in another post, but to keep things simple: you can find a healthier way to channel those feelings. 

Hopefully I have given you a basic understanding of shadow work.

So where did the idea of shadow work even emerge?

Well, there was a very interesting man and later rival to Sigmund Freud, called Carl Jung, who brought us the idea of shadow work as we know it today. Jung was a psychoanalyst and, if I am being honest, he is one of my favourite historical figures. Idk, I have always been drawn to his work even way before I started working on unravelling my trauma and shadows.

I will explore Jung in the next post, as well, I don’t wanna keep you for too long.

But before I go; below the book I spoke about earlier , alongside some other images related to SW.

I hope to be a helpful companion in your journey through your darkness, but until next time, love and light.